It was probably NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) that first introduced me to the power of question. The supposition is that each person is using their own language and to achieve optimal communication it is necessary to crack the speaker’s code, in order to get where they are coming from. So how do you go about this? Basically, you ask them a question and the feedback you receive in the answer is an indicator of how they view the world.
Now many people may think this is solely pertinent to a therapeutic setting. Yet, as the saying goes, as you do one thing, you do them all. Accordingly, if you go through everyday life and interactions never questioning anything, how will you ever know what you know or what others think? And who really cares? Just think of the party game, “Broken Telephone” where an idea is whispered from one person to the next, without any questions allowed, until the last person says out loud what they was whispered to them. Many a laugh has ensued when the original idea is revealed and is usually a far cry from the initial utterance.
I recently consciously started to really apply question to everything and anything. Having always been a natural questioner, as most children are, I had it drummed out of me at an age, until eventually I just stopped asking questions, or at least to grown ups or out load :-). Just this simply action of asking a question for everything has created so much greater possibilities in my life. It has been said that the question empowers, whereas the answer disempowers. It took me a while to really understand this dynamic and yet I did observe more and more how when someone asks a question, everyone, myself included feels obliged to give an answer. Mind you, not just any answer – it has to be the RIGHT answer. So where’s the empowerment in finding the right answer?
I recently participated in a training course as a participant. Very early on, I started to observe what was – and this is purely my interesting point of view – the facilitator’s lack of questioning. There was very little actual reformulation and checking back with the speaker to make sure that the question had been understood, but rather a rush to file the answer. This is on a cognitive level, however the energetic dynamic at play here, come from the inability to receive.
Initially, as a participant and a teacher in my own right, I found myself in re-action and feeling thraughted as each time I asked a question or gave feedback, the reply or answer felt like a punch to my solar-plexus. Don’t you just love Energy ? It never lies ! 🙂 After a while, I began to ask questions about the dynamics of what was going on. Needless to say there was a lot of information there – way above the initial knee-jerk re-action I was having.
I suppose that in addition to having come away with a new and exciting modality, I came away with a clear picture of how important it is to ask a question. Never assume, because it makes an ass out of u and me ! Asking a question is a great way to gauge the temperature of the room, so to speak. It also takes a willingness to be the question and to be in total allowance of what shows up. You may not like what shows up, because the power of the question is that it reveals the good, the bad and the ugly. However, is having awareness around what is really going on, not an advantage? Would you rather know than not? I suppose it comes down to what you choose. For me personally, the power of the question lies in its capacity to reveal what so often lies hidden behind words.
Question has opened up so many greater possibilities in my life. In conclusion, the power to BE ME.
As a Well-Being Facilitator, I often come up against the many ways in which I and others continue to limit ourselves in connection with our values. The polarity of what is or is not valuable!
Throughout our lives, we strive to uphold our values and the beliefs that stem from these. Yet how many of us are truly aware of these values and what they actually mean and the ways in which they both free and limit us? Just ask a few people for what their values are and what these values actually represent to and for them and you open up a real can of worms.
Values like respect, love, faith, hate, safety, time, money, etc are the backbone of so much of what we do and choose and yet how many of these values are truly of our own choosing and are they still valid for us today?
I particularly want to look at the value of VALUE here. How do you value yourself? Do the ways in which you value yourself add to you and your life? Or do the ways is which you value yourself actually limit you? When you choose something, or not, does your value system, value YOU?
This came up for me a few days ago, when a potential client turned down a Reiki class for reasons of time and money. How to argue against these two staunch and valid value systems? I started to go into the justification of why and how and when, only to stop myself. Where are all the places we use time and money as reasons for not valueing ourselves?
I hold the value that where there is a will there is a way, so is it more correct to say that we always have the time and money, however, we would rather spend them on something else?
This distinction is a valuable one for me, because the intention of the underlying directive energy will set the tone and or vibration.
What is the value of a class and learning a new modality? Is it something that will add to your life and thus your contribution to others? What if the information from the class has a ripple effect in your life, way above and beyond the time and money you spend?
What is the value of choosing to pay medical bills rather than learn a bodywork modality that increases body health and awareness? Not only for you, but others as well.
What value do you attach to change and is it something you truly desire?
What is the value of time and money? How have you made them more valuable than YOU? I don’t know about you, but many times I have turned something down because the time and money were more valuable to me than ME. I was not choosing to come from a space of valueing ME and then demanding that whatever was required to make it happen show up. Is this insane or what?
As a practitioner, where have you made the modalities you work with more valuable than leaning something new? For me, there are no limitations in Oneness and yet within the practitioner field, I am constantly made aware of an unwillingness to explore anything new. What is the value of finding the one modality that works for everything and everyone? I play with several modalities and use them all when I facilitate clients. For me, the value of a modality is how it expands and enhances everything in my life. Definitely worth the time and money, which I think of an investment in me.
As Neale Donald Walsch wrote, “your Life begins at the end of your comfort zones.” And what is the value of your comfort zones and holding on to them? How do they validate you?
What would your life look like if you choose every day in every way to value the Greatness of YOU, no matter what? What are the infinite possibilities?