5 Ways To Free Yourself From Emotional Rollercoasters

5 Ways To Free Yourself From Emotional Rollercoasters

Emotions are very much a part of our daily lives and are deemed to be what distinguishes us from other ‘animals.’

Yet they can also be what trips us up again and again, as long as we are slaves to them, rather than their master.

For much of my life, I was on a series of distressful emotional roller-coasters that eventually resulted in mental and emotional health issues. Long-term these impacted on my relationships, jobs, finances, health and mindset.

Until one day, over feeling miserable and broken, I said, ‘No More.’

To change, I sought out information and professionals to help me acquire the skills I needed and that I hadn’t received while growing up. I was thirsty for knowledge and wanted to learn how to be happy without feeling like life was an emotional roller-coaster that was out of control.

Here are 5 Ways to be Free of Emotional Roller-Coasters that I Found to Work:

 

1. Keep Off the Ride:

This may seem obvious and yet it’s often overlooked. It’s important to know what pushes your buttons and to then manage situations and people you allow into your life.  How often do you get that little niggle inside and you ignore it? This is where the roller coaster ride begins – when we don’t heed that inner knowing of what is and isn’t good for us. This often occurs as we are afraid of being judged, failing, not fitting in or being wrong.

It’s important to notice and acknowledge all emotions, whether they are considered good or bad. They are messengers of the programmes playing out in our heads and which we are often indoctrinated into as we grow up, through parents, society, culture, and religion.

Get to know and manage your own personal emotional states, which will mean that you can make more informed decisions and be able to manage yourself with more confidence.

 

2. Meditate on A Regular Basis:

Meditation is a great preventative measure when done on a regular basis, as it helps the brain to actually have the time to organize information with you aware. Practised regularly, this helps diffuse and process volatile emotional energies before they get out of control.

Contrary to what many may believe or have been instructed, I found attempting to meditate when you are in the throes of strong emotions is futile. It’s like blowing on a fire that is already out of control in an attempt to put it out. Don’t try to meditate when you are on an emotional roller-coaster as this can feel like things are actually getting worse!

Wait until you are feeling calmer before you sit down to meditation.

Meditation helps to install a practise of being able to respond more calmly and mindfully to daily events.

 

3. Count to 10:

Ever heard Grandma say this? Well, she was definitely wise and onto something. It’s always wise to avoid taking action or making decisions when on an emotional roller-coaster. We have all experienced the damage one can do when under strong emotion and the regret that follows.

Emotions, especially strong ones, can swamp the brain, as it becomes flooded with physical reactions and then the brain is challenged on which reaction to prioritise. When stopping to count to 10, this gives the body a short lapse of time that opens a window in the brain, to move from flight and fight to more logical processing.

 

4. Stop and Breathe:

This simple yet powerful tool continues to be underused. When I say ‘take a breath’ to clients they laugh or make some cryptic comment – at least at first. And yet, stopping to take a breath changes everything.

Firstly, the act of stopping stops you. Use the previous point of counting to 10 to help you stop. Do this physically – pull over in the car, leave the room, stand up if sitting or sit down if standing. Change your physical stance.

Next, focus on taking a big conscious breath. Take several until you feel something shift. If the emotions begin to bubble up again, acknowledge them and make a conscious decision to deal with them at a later time once you are calmer and can think straight.

The mind is a great selection tool when calm and clear and not clouded by strong emotions. A clear head allows you to make a more informed choice and choose how to behave appropriately. Stopping and breathing will give you the time to choose.

The more often you practise stopping to take a conscious breath, the more you will unlock your secret weapon to stress release. I invite you to access my free audio DESTRESS DETOX RELAX now.

 

5. Learn Empowering Life Skills:

Hire a mentor or coach to learn the life skills you are missing. Most of us have not be taught how to manage our emotions in healthy ways and so we keep on repeating the same behavioural patterns. Until we replace the pattern with something new and different. If you struggle with emotional overwhelm often, there is no shame in seeking out support.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” well, neither was your emotional make-up.

Here are A Few Examples on How to Slowly Increase New Life Skills:

  • Read a wide range of articles on emotional intelligence and techniques.
  • Keep a journal of your own emotions and write about them – putting things down on paper is very empowering and it also keeps you accountable.
  • Make friends with your emotions – it’s easier to install change in a friendly environment.
  • Talk to other people and listen to their stories – it helps give a bigger picture.

 

As humans, we love to have meaning in our life… to feel the thrill… which can sometimes be found while on roller-coasters.

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea though, and especially if you end up feeling derailed emotionally most of the time.

Life is not meant to lived as a constant roller-coaster ride, at least in my opinion; it’s meant more to be about gentle rises and falls and ebbs and flows. The above suggestions can help in learning to master emotions in ways that are healthy and beneficial to you and those around you, so that there’s more freedom and enjoyment rather than drama at the expense of one’s sanity and well-being.

– Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker who helps her clients go from zero to hero, as they heal,  alleviate stress and cultivate freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her tried and tested know-how to create inner harmony and outer balance. 

If you desire to experience a deeper sense of connection with yourself and others and expand your consciousness, contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment so that you too can go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

4 Breakthrough Steps To Gratitude

4 Breakthrough Steps To Gratitude

There’s so much emphasis around ‘gratitude’ and how important it is if you want to be successful and fulfilled. So what happens when it seems a big ask to find something to be grateful for or about?

While being grateful is something we can all probably aspire to be more of, for many years I admit – I struggled to feel gratitude. It’s not that I didn’t want to be grateful – I did – however, keeping with my own integrity and honesty, I knew I wasn’t there yet! And quite frankly, faking it until I made it, wasn’t working for me either.

This often left me confused and feeling guilty – was there something wrong with me that I couldn’t feel gratitude for everything and all of the time? I was in a transformational pickle and for some time did not know which way to turn! Have you ever felt like this and wondered what’s going on or how to change it?

Quite simply, as the individual you are, the way in which you experience events and gratitude, is totally exclusive to you. So when presented with a new concept, it’s up to you to find the doorway in. Here are some of clues I followed that helped me to break through into gratitude, in a way that felt genuine and empowering.

1. Define Gratitude

Very often, due to indoctrination and socialization, you can get pulled into the definition of the ‘group consciousness’ around different concepts. Gratitude, is simply one example. So what does gratitude mean for you?

As humans, there is a tendency to want to classify information. For the most part, the linguistic or language meaning is used, as a form of creating easier understanding and cognitive cohesion. On the surface this works. However, this only addresses the mental aspects of definitions. There is another level of definition, commonly called semantics, or in other words, meaning. Take a look at what’s underneath the gratitude.

The way the brain stores data is very much linked to the emotional charge of the events in your life. When strong emotions are involved, then defining gratitude becomes a whole different kettle of fish. If you were to stop and imagine yourself being grateful, what would that look like, feel like, sound like to you? Follow these clues. I suggest one way of how, in point two.

2. Feel Your Way

Trust your feelings because they are your compass. If even feeling gratitude feels off, then all it is showing you, is that you haven’t yet found your way. Often there is a tendency to judge this as right or wrong, which can create a wedge between where you are and feeling gratitude. This is the reason that defining what gratitude embodies for you is essential, otherwise it simply will not stick and keeps you stuck.

If you feel that gratitude means giving up, faking it, lying to yourself, making another part of you feel wrong and it’s greedy to ask for more – then you will sabotage yourself in some way. It’s important to look at all the aspects that go into an attitude of gratitude – for you. And when along the way, it feels off for you, keep going and ask for clarity as you move forward. Feel your way – it’s your best bet!

3. Use Manners

Your words matter! They really do. Do you consciously say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when you want or receive something? This may appear an ‘old fashioned’ way of doing things, however, I am a firm believer in ‘old wisdom’.

The way you are speaking to others, is an outward reflection of how you speak to yourself – it shows what kind of a mind-map you have. Everything is within and this includes the capacity to gift and receive – and the code words to access these states are ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.

As a child, I was taught that if I wanted something, to ask and say ‘please’. And when I received something, to say ‘thank you’. Only much later as an adult did I observe, that when I consciously applied these to my intentions and desires, there was a distinct shift in the energy dynamic. Almost as if the Universe stopped and paid attention to what I was going to say and do.

Using manners helps to cultivate a ‘walk the talk’ behaviour! When I use my manners, I am acknowledging the divine aspect within myself and my capacity to co-create with Life itself. I am honouring my Self. This allows more ease and joy and a feeling of being ‘great-full’.

4. Make your Life a Gratitude Journal

A very powerful and practical way to create the possibility of breaking through into gratitude in my experience, is with a gratitude journal. I found it really helpful to focus on writing down things I was grateful for. It helped me to count my blessings and give them form. However, please don’t let keeping a journal be the end result. It’s the starting point! Apply this ‘gratitude’ in your daily life and interactions and communications with others.

In my personal experience, to fully integrate a mindset, takes conscious direction and frequent implementation. This is about applying mental and often abstract concepts with focus daily to create a ‘habit of gratitude’. This helped me to move through the struggle and meet gratitude in a pragmatic and tangible way that worked for me. And so can you!

Remember, gratitude is a process and as such, you simply cannot force your way into it. By connecting to the essence of what gratitude feels like for you, then you will have your unique form of gratitude. You do this by systematically assessing your feelings and observing what comes up for you.

Adjust. Align. Choose.

As you move forward with each step you are feeling your way and breaking through into gratitude.

Many Blissings

Trilby x


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

Have you ever felt lonely?

Odds are that you have, at some point or other in your life. For some, this is a temporary and transient emotion that comes and goes. For others, feeling lonely can be a more permanent and unwanted visitor, that has far outstayed its welcome.

For instance, recent reports from Help Lines for those in need, show an increased number of calls, in particular during or around public holidays, from both people in relationships as well as those living alone.

Loneliness doesn’t discriminate!

Emotions are powerful players in our lives and depending on what and how they make us feel, are considered either friends or foes. Within our societies, cultures and gender roles, we become conditioned early on about what type of emotional behaviour is or isn’t acceptable. Yet, simultaneously, emotions are extremely personal and influenced by an individual’s inner relationship and sensibilities and personality types, such as introverts and extroverts.

Regardless of your personality type, however, it’s important and handy to know what to do and how to respond when loneliness begins to spread its fingers across our hearts and minds, to taint our lives in sad, dull and uncomfortable colours.

Loneliness has the power to disempower us so deeply in the most profound corners of our lives.

I know this because I used to feel constantly lonely, isolated and totally useless. So, I want to share five keys that helped me to beat loneliness, that can work for you too!

Here are 5 Ways to Beat Loneliness:

 

1. Admit How You are Feeling.

This may seem counterproductive at first because it can stir up fear. The fear of being consumed by feeling lonely. The fact of the matter, however, is that until you acknowledge what you feel, you are a slave to it. Many people feel ashamed or guilty to admit that they feel lonely, because of what it may imply. There is a fear that by admitting to something, it makes it true. This is a falsehood!

By admitting what it is you are feeling, you take back your power and can be objective about what’s really going on.

What you won’t own, enslaves you!

 

2. Give Your Loneliness A Form.

Strong emotions can often make us feel irrational. So, a great way to begin to ‘contain the situation’ in a safe environment and way, is by giving loneliness a form. For example, when you feel lonely, give it a scale of intensity from 1 -10. This is helpful, as it creates a space of detachment from the feeling, while still admitting it exists.

Each time you give a form to your loneliness helps you to see the intensity of your loneliness in a constructive way.

Remember that your emotions are real in your mind/brain and by giving them a form, as in a number, helps you to take a step back and be able to be detached in a healthy way.

 

3. Dig Deep.

The last thing you probably want to do when it comes to loneliness, is to dig deeper right? That’s fear – False Evidence Appearing Real – talking! And boy, it can feel scary feeling lonely. So, to beat this fear, dig deep and explore what is underneath the feeling of loneliness.

Make a list of all the feelings and thoughts that come to mind, no matter what they are. And practice makes progress, so do this often.

You can only change what you are willing to confront. Healing comes through feeling.

Which brings me to the next key point.

 

4. Don’t Shoot the Messenger.

Loneliness, like all emotions, brings a message with it. Humans, after all, are highly complex individuals. We are also creatures of habit and so it’s important to find out what is underneath our emotions. There is always a belief system that is attached to an emotional reaction. It’s part of our social, cultural and gender upbringing.

Ask yourself, “what is making me feel lonely?” and explore what comes up. This may sound challenging and requires a good dose of being honest with yourself in a gentle yet rigorous way.

The messenger is you, telling you more about yourself. Stop and listen and you will find that with more clarity the loneliness very often fades into the background and the true issue can be resolved, bringing peace of mind and calm.

 

5. Change Your Emotional Map.

Did you know that for the brain, all behaviours and emotions are mini programmes running the show? Otherwise called habits. The above keys are an outline on how to change your internal and emotional map. When you do this, your external map will begin to match up.

Allow yourself to stop and ask for directions on the way. You don’t have to beat loneliness on your own. I know from personal experience, that finding the help you need is key to beating loneliness.

Add pit stops of support to your emotional map as you progress and look for new destinations.

Allow that it’s quite natural to feel lonely at moments in your life – the trick is in learning not to get stuck there. I hope you find these 5 ways to beat loneliness effective, as they serve me well. If you would like more tips on how to beat loneliness and be happy effectively, my book FEARLESSLY ALONE takes an in-depth look at what makes us feel lonely and really afraid and how to break free and find your happy, on your own terms.

Many Blissings

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

You Deserve a Winning Formula

You Deserve a Winning Formula


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You deserve a winning formula!

When sculpting the life you desire,
find a formula that works for you
that is ever green.

One that has its own benchmark,
and you can gauge your progress
and advancement.

A formula with its own safety net,
to catch you when you fall.
Propulse you towards greater opportunities,
New solutions and experiences.

Stop peeling back the onion…
Onions only made me cry.
I much prefer expanding upwards spirals.
Spirals flow much better.
Feeling the continuum.
Infinite possibilities growing.

Figure out what you desire.
Learn how to ask for it.
Be willing to receive it and the form it takes.

Design by desire.
On your own terms.
Be your winning formula!

Much Love.
Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Stand up and speak out fearlessly

Did you know that public speaking is one of the most frequent and strongest fears that people have? I used to be one of them and here is what I learned. My fears stemmed from memories of numerous failed and embarrassing class speeches that had gone horribly wrong. Additionally, I grew up believing that what I had to say was not interesting anyway. Plus, I hated confrontation and public speaking was the worst case scenario. Can you relate to any of this?

Consequently, for many years I would do everything I could to avoid public speaking in any form and this meant even avoiding speaking up for myself. For a long time, I denied my inner voice that was inviting me to challenge these beliefs and to stand up and speak out fearlessly!

Don’t get me wrong. I did find many creative and ‘safe’ ways of expressing myself. Unwittingly, they have helped me to build my confidence, hone my expertise and most importantly stand in my authority and explore what I am really good at and enjoy. The advent of social media, podcasts, tele-summits, blogging and self-publishing have all contributed greatly to my ‘coaching’.

A key to effective problem solving I have found – and one that addresses all aspects of an issue – is to never face a problem head on! This can create huge resistance and amplifies feelings of frustration and overwhelm and discouragement. For example, if you are driving from A to Z and on the way there is a major road block, you would look for alternative routes and ways to get there, right? Looking for alternatives and solutions is a great way to solve problems and allows other possibilities to show up, which you may not of thought of initially. So what this advent did for me, was that I was actually learning to stand up and speak out, without seeing it as public speaking! This helped removed the fear factor and look at things from a different perspective.

It’s taken many years to finally break through this pattern of fear and shift my mindset around public speaking. Funnily enough, I realized this fully when I recently gave a talk at my local library’s ‘Author’s Evening’ to introduce my book FEARLESSLY ALONE‘ and talk about what had motivated me and why. Was I nervous? You bet! In fact, unusually so. Because this time I was presenting something that was important to me – it wasn’t like those classroom speeches where I spoke about someone else’s ideas – this was about issues that were close to my heart and I felt extremely vulnerable. Yet, I wanted to be able to stand up and speak out fearlessly, even if others were challenging me and didn’t agree. I wanted to present my ideas without being confrontational and yet inspire food for thought and challenge old concepts. And I did just that!

You see, I knew my material well. It was a part of me and my life experience. I was my resource library. To create the mindset I wanted, I looked at all the beliefs that surfaced and I shifted each and every one of them. I also created those I would need as a positive back up – confidence, self-worth, awareness, humour and being willing to be vulnerable. I was able to transmute the fear of judgement of others and the need to be wrong or right. I was there to express my interesting point of view, to offer food for thought and to create connection with those whom my information could support.

More importantly, all the previous online ‘training’ had been preparing me for this moment and as I took action, even feeling really nervous, I was able to connect to that place within where I know who I am and believe in myself. It was such a wonderful and empowering experience! So much so, that it has ignited a burning desire to stand up and speak out fearlessly more often. Who would have thought this was possible? Certainly not that shy and unhappy school girl from way back. It took me six years to manifest this evening and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually. It all began a long time ago, when my Heart’s Knowing whispered to me, “You can do it!”… and so can you!

Some steps you can take towards standing up and speaking out fearlessly are:

  • Dare to believe in your dreams, no matter how silly or far away they may seem.
  • Ask and be willing to receive.
  • Take the baby steps and actions that come with ease to you.
  • Change direction as required without losing sight of your destination.
  • Build a mindset with beliefs that support your growth and that feel good along the way.
  • Trust that any thing is possible and look for opportunities!
  • Believe in yourself!

In Light and Appreciation

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

 

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