Relationships as Teachers

Relationships as Teachers

Relationships as Teachers

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Everything you experience in your life, is in relation to something or someone else. It is in many ways the crux with which you define your individuality and from which you will draw on as reference points. Much of our social behaviour is shaped by and through the relationships we have or do not have and how these impact on our sense of self.

Some relationships are easily identifiable and recognizable, such as family, spouses, children, colleagues, etc and in earlier days, any diverse forms of these were not accepted within society. Even today for instance, many struggle to accept same sex relationships as valid although happily attitudes are changing.

Education and information play a huge role in how we regards and manage our own relationships. So it stands to reason that if the eduction and information is biased or misguiding, then this will impact on the relationships we have, taking them at face value.

There are many more types relationships however than the mainstream ones identified and accepted. There is the relationship we have first and foremost with ourselves. What kind of a relationship do you enjoy with yourself? Is it a happy and healthy one? Is it a judgemental one? Is it one where you don’t feel you are worthy or good enough? All of these points of views are insights into the quality of relating that you have with yourself.

This is important to acknowledge, because the quality of relating that you have with yourself informs everything you do – the way you behave towards yourself and others. And also because very often the baseline for this relationship is learned by you from other people. Until you understand how deep this goes, much of your relating will be bases on and influenced by other people’s beliefs and ideology.

For instance, do you associate your emotional states with physical symptoms in your body? When I first experienced depression, I was given medical and psychiatric support, to ease my mind. There was never mention though of the connection between the numbness I felt and the wealth of emotions of anger and sadness that I had repressed for many years. There was no discussion linking the debilitating migraines that I would experience and the relationship these had to the emotional stress I had felt for many years. Thankfully I had a wonderful ally that cut through all the confusion once I began to listen to it… my body.

The human body is in my opinion one of the most sophisticated and advanced pieces of technology we have at our disposal. Through it, we relate to everything – visible and invisible. It is, I have found, an infallible resource, one we learn to tap into and listen to its hidden wisdom. For the most part, we are taught to refer to our mind for information. Whilst effective, this source of information is limited and dependent for the most part on how much information it’s possible to retrieve from memory. In Cognitive pscyhological circles, it’s acknowledged that the subconscious mind is much larger than the conscious part. Yet no mention is made to the way in which our bodies relate to these informations. The subconscious information is often ‘felt’ via the bodies senses and can be overlooked by the mental senses.

This way of relating with energy is my understanding of intuition. However, unless we are aware of the link between say physical pain and your emotions of say stress, depression, illness, we are at a disadvantage to know where to begin to make changes. And this in turn will impact on and have repercussions on all of our outer relationships with ourselves, others and situations. Of course, the same goes for postitive emotions. If you are happy, then the chances of you hanging out with people who are predominantly unhappy, is slim.

For this reason, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you can have. The extent to which you relate well or not with yourself, will be reflected in all your other relationships and manner of relating. It is how you are connected and go about connecting.

Now perhaps this is obvious to those of you who had a positive and uplifting upbringing. For many however, who did not, this information is important because, once you change and value your relationship to self in positive and uplifting ways, then the majority of your relating and relationships will become a match.

A great place to start is to sit down and identify the qualities that you are looking for in your relationships – with yourself and then others. Set yourself free from the default setting of what a relationship is or supposed to be. Create your own relationship map, then follow that. It will lead you to the kind of relationships you are looking for and want to create. Don’t settle for second best in any relationship, whether personal or professional. Make your relationship with yourself no. 1 … and the best will follow. True love starts at home – in your Heart of Hearts – and You are the key that unlocks the treasure of all relationship in your life.

May you be your own Valentine before any other, so that love may grow strong and true from and through you.

Much love.

Trilby

p.s. You may want to read my blog Don’t Overlook This When it Comes to Intimacy – where I explore the role of intimacy in relationship


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Don’t overlook this when it comes to intimacy

Don’t overlook this when it comes to intimacy

intimacy, sex, relationship, self-love, happiness
Ever noticed that the word intimacy begins with the letter “I”? Many assume that intimacy is all about sex. It’s not! Intimacy, is considered usually as something we only can have with another person, in the form of relationship.  In this instance, I want to suggest a different perspective.

What if we think of intimacy as a state of being and experience that we have primarily with ourselves first and foremost? Learning to know ourselves is crucial if we are to enjoy a level of authentic and satisfying intimacy across our adult lives. Amazingly, many of us overlook this one factor when it comes to intimacy.

True intimacy, extends beyond the relationships we will have with another person. Instead, it is a deeply personal connection to ourselves. Without it, we are left feeling that something is missing within us and an emptiness that we instinctively try to fill. The more we look outside of ourselves to fill it – through success, relationships, love, money, work, drugs, media, food, purpose etc. – the stronger and wider the chasm inside us grows.

Being completely intimate with ourselves first is such an empowering individual process! Yet so few of us are aware of this and we don’t know how or where to begin. For genuine self-intimacy to emerge, we must be vulnerable to the process itself – the good, the bad and ugly, the hidden, the sensual, the still unfolding bits and the deeply afraid of being hurt bits.

To initiate this level of gratifying intimacy, let’s use the premises that ‘everything is within’, ‘start where we are’ and ‘the answers are right under our nose’.  There is one place where all three of these premises converge – our body! During a life span, we spend every day of our lives in our body. Yet how well do we know our bodies and what kind of intimate relationship do we consciously enjoy in and with them?

For centuries, we have been conditioned by culture and religion. Those holding the control withheld the secret – of the enormous potential, strength and capacity that comes from our sacred body connection and its empowering nature. By propagating the belief that the flesh was sinful and would betray us, they drove a wedge between ourselves and our bodies – our dearest ally – effectively severing the cords to personal intimacy. Sadly, this myth continues even today and is most prevalent in issues of body-image, lack of self-esteem, a sense of overwhelm and a deep loneliness that many of us still experience.

In my recent book, ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE‘, I addressed several of the factors that contribute to people feeling lonely, isolated and lost. Feelings of loneliness are a key indicator of a lack of intimacy with our Self – the most important authority in our life. When we feel lonely, we are often experiencing a feeling of disconnection from our source of personal power and creativity. The book reveals how when prolonged and unresolved, this results in stress, anxiety, depression, loss of self-worth, ill-health and even suicide.

Whatever we do in life, we do together with our bodies and everything experienced – both consciously and subconsciously – is perceived via this physical miraculous mechanical organism. The body literally hears and captures everything that we ever see, feel, and think. It allows us to have all kinds of sensory and sensual experiences – pleasurable and/or painful. The body ‘communicates’ with us through our senses – physical, emotional and intuitive – and translates these into feelings that we can perceive and understand. For example, when meeting a person for the first time, there is an instant initial impression – like this person is trustworthy, friendly, genuine, happy, unhappy, lying, an authority, confident, etc. This hunch often turns out to be correct.

The more consciously intimate the relationship with our body is, the better equipped we are to navigate life and make informed decisions confidently. Learning to listen to these sources of information can enrich our lives even more than most of us can perhaps even imagine. Cultivating awareness of and within the body will allow for more intimacy that is genuine, trustworthy and ideally suited for any unique lifestyle. It’s possible to reap immeasurable rewards, like attracting favourable people, situations and opportunities into our life, whereas prior to this, we may have struggled and suffered and chosen unwisely.

When we consciously harness this natural and profound connection with our body and nurture it, we are experiencing intimacy. We have come Home. And when stepping out from this space to embrace our lives, it is done from a place of empowered authority and enriched connection. Thanks to our bodies. Don’t overlook this when it comes to intimacy!


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

 

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

When You Feel Alone in Your Spiritual Beliefs

When You Feel Alone in Your Spiritual Beliefs

when-you-feel-alone-blog-headerThe spiritual relationship. By its very nature, solitary and deeply personal. Where each individual is called to find the meaning of life, for themselves. The importance of the beliefs around this relationship is evidenced throughout history and through the pivotal role that religion has held. Still today, war is waged in the name of religion and spiritual salvation used as the trump card.

In Western society, freedom to choose your spiritual beliefs, is relatively recent. Yet, the desire to belong and be a part of something is very strong for most humans. When this sense of connection is under threat or lacking – especially with regards to spirituality – you can feel alone and vulnerable.

There are many diverse spiritual beliefs and groups. This can often make it seem even more challenging to find and connect with those who have similar spiritual beliefs and who share and express the same values. Making assumptions about how people with spiritual beliefs behave can also result in disillusion.

A part of being different, is celebrating the diverse qualities and talents that make us an individual. As with any situation in life, I believe how we will experience anything comes down to attitude. So if you are feeling alone in your spiritual beliefs, here are some suggestions:

1. Change your Perspective
If you are feeling that being alone is something negative, then it’s very important to question the quality, viability and source of your spiritual beliefs. The very essence of having a spiritual relationship, is meant to connect you more closely with your divine nature – with yourself. If this sense of connection is lacking, then it’s important to dig deeper. Take a look at the content of your beliefs – ask yourself if they are preventing you from enjoying your life and divine nature more? Be honest.

2. Fish out the False Beliefs
One of the primary reasons you may be feeling unfulfilled and alone when it comes to your spiritual beliefs, in my opinion, lies hidden within the misleading information we have all been fed for eons about our origins and divine nature. How this can show up is in a feeling of ‘there’s something wrong with me’ or ‘I must be from another planet, because I don’t fit in anywhere’. I believe these feelings are linked to what I call ‘the myth of separation’. Belief in this myth, whether conscious or unconscious, has left a huge scar in the human psyche. This lie has dealt a huge blow to us as a race, especially in western culture. I offer an in-depth look at the spiritual intricacies of this myth and how it leads to an unhealthy sense of being alone in my book FEARLESSLY ALONE – Stop The Lonely Crisis And Find Your Happy.

In our current evolutionary pattern, for true soul/spiritual healing to occur, resolving this false belief around being alone appears to be a necessary rite of spiritual passage. If you are ready to fully experience the sacred relationship of your divine nature – however that looks to you – then feeling unhappily alone is an indication that your spiritual beliefs need upgrading to support, not diminish, you.

3. Find a Spiritual Teacher
Look for a spiritual teacher who can help you uncover any limiting beliefs and install new supportive ones. One of the important things to realize when feeling alone, is that it is an act of self-love to ask for help. You are not meant to do it all on your own! The Universe is abundant and brimming with life-force energy. There is no way that this excludes you. Only you exclude you. Is that perhaps what makes you feel alone? Reach out your hand and ask for help to transform your body-mind-soul connection.

4. Reframe the game
Reframe how you look at feeling alone. What if, instead of it being something negative, feeling alone means you are on your way?! You have broken free of the conventional dogma that restricts so many. Simply stop judging yourself. When you follow your own intuitive guidance and inner authority faithfully, you gain confidence and comfortably make the right choices for you.

When it comes to beliefs, choose those that lift you up where you belong. Choose to be a Spiritual Warrior who stands strong and firm and All-One.

In Light and Appreciation

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

7 Positive Body-Image Affirmations To Feel Like A Diva

7 Positive Body-Image Affirmations To Feel Like A Diva

mountain-pose-815291_1280Since 2014, low body-image is out. Self-acceptance is in! And if you are going to embrace being a natural Diva, self-acceptance is an essential ingredient. Every women is a diva, simply by her birthright. Think of it that way. You start at marvellous and work your way up from there, without arrogance or disdain. If you don’t feel that you are quite there yet, here are 7 affirmations for a positive body-image. Your body-image impacts on every single area of your life, so make it the best version you can. Remember, affirmations are not about forcing yourself to believe something that you don’t feel. That’s silly and a waste of your time and intelligence. Change begins with the first step and being willing. Ultimately, you are the only one who can change the relationship you have with your body!

1. I accept and love my body exactly as it is
Ah, if it were only so easy you may be thinking. Begin with baby steps. It’s taken centuries of social and cultural conditioning to lead you here. So be gently and kind and patient with yourself. Most of all though, be honest with yourself. Are you at least WILLING to begin to accept and love your body, as it is, here and now? When you can at least be willing, you allow something different a chance to show up. You release the rigid judgment you have on your current body-image.

2. I am grateful for my body
It’s no secret, that gratitude or appreciation, engenders a beauty of its own that transcends the mere physical. When you shower your body with gratitude rather than judgment, it will respond favourably in kind and very quickly. Start by acknowledging something that your body does for you everyday. For instance, the fact that your body knows how to breath for you, is a great and wonderful skill, that literally keeps you alive. Imagine if you had to remember to breathe every breath of each day. How exhausting would that be? Shift into a mindset of being grateful for everything your body does for you.

3. I claim and embrace my Diva Body
It’s very simple. You have to claim what you want. Especially if you don’t feel that you have it. If you are going around grouching about how awful you look, this is how you show up. This is not how a Diva behaves, is it? The one thing noticeable about a Diva is her confidence. And that comes from accepting all of herself, as she is, and being proud. Claim your Diva Body today.

4. I am the authority of my body
To feel good about yourself in the body you have, requires accountability. As long as you allow yourself to be influenced by external factors like the media, beauty industry and yes sadly other women’s opinions, when it comes to your body, you will most likely find yourself feeling terrible about your body. There is only one person who has the body you have and that is you. Celebrate it and even flaunt it. Why wouldn’t you? You possess one-of-a-kind!

5. I nurture a positive body-image
You body is like a car. No disrepect. What you put in it and how you treat it, is what you will get out. Your body reflects the quality of the nurturing you give it. Nurturing is not just about the food you eat and the exercise programme you follow. It is also very much the thoughts and emotions you have about yourself whilst you are busy doing all of these activities, throughout the day.

6. I have a sacred relationship with my body
Whether you acknowledge it or not, your body is your one true home and your most trustworthy friend. It is where everything you experience in your life occurs first. When you treat it with respect and sacredness, it will reward you tenfold in more ways than you can imagine.

7. When I feel connected to my body, I am never alone and I feel happy and alive
Negative body-image comes from thoughts and feelings that creates an energetic barrier within yourself and you cells. This leaves you feeling isolated. That’s how the body-image demon gets in. Don’t even give them a chance!

As with anything, the more you use these, write them down and say them out loud and connect to the positive feelings, the more and quicker the change can show up. Hope you find these useful in enjoying your experience of being a Diva with a positive body-image.

In Light and Appreciation.
Trilby Johnson


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

The H Factors That Add Value To Your Life

The H Factors That Add Value To Your Life

the-h-factors-blog

You’ve probably heard about the X Factor but have you heard about the H Factors? This is not about the TV show and more about setting your own default value settings so that you will be the star in your own life.  When it comes to living a successful life, I believe there are two H factors that you must add to your value system to have this – Happiness and Health!

The motivation behind much of what humans do, is to have these two things in life. All the running after success, love and money is basically linked to these two aspects of life. Ask people what they want most in life and ultimately when you drill right down, it’s about being happy and healthy. Yet for many, these two simple factors are rare or sporadic. Many spend their lives working hard to earn money and make ends meet, only to lose along the way, the very things they have been aiming for in the first place and long-term – their happiness and health. Suddenly, the future can look and feel really bleak.

My new book ‘Fearlessly Alone – Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy’ takes an insightful and informative look at how happiness and health are imperative to living a fulfilled life and how to achieve them. It is important to add and prioritize these values in your life, to give yourself a fighting chance at peace, prosperity and a purposeful relationship with yourself and consequently others too.

Your values are a set of core principles that you use in making decision across your life based on importance and need. Not to be confused with your beliefs, which are basically assumptions that we take to be true.  A conflict of values can arise when two important values come into play and you have to make an important life decision.  For instance, whether to stay in a job you hate and find boring for security because you’ve been there for years, or to go for a new job where you can express your value of creativity and independence but there is less job and financial security.

Throughout your life, you strive to meet your values – like respect, love, faith, happiness, health, family, abundance, time, money, etc  – and that are the backbone to so many of your choices. It’s important to ask questions when it comes to the ranking of your values, especially when having a conflict of values. Because there is a reason behind this and it may not always be what you think it is.

Prioritizing and updating your values is very important because you and the situations you find yourself in change. When I did this exercise a few years ago, imagine my astonishment when I saw that happiness and health were not even in the top 10. No wonder there seemed to be a lack around happiness and health. Actively participating in your values settings, helps to prioritize them in your subconscious mind and is boosted further when you set positive intentions. It’s about adding value to your life, when and how it serves you best.

Here is a short exercise to help you identify and update your top 10 core values are:

  1. Sit down and write down the first things that come to mind that are important to you in your life. (If you need examples of values, just google values and you can find lists to draw from.)
  2. Rank them from 1 to 10 with 1 being the most important and 10 the least.
  3. Then ask yourself if these are still valid for you?
  4. Are these values truly your own?
  5. When sorted, ask if there are any ‘new’ values that you wish to add? Add and rank them.
  6. Reflect on what has come up for you and also write down any of the beliefs that may have popped up. For example, your health depends on your genetic make-up; you can’t be happy because then people will think you are selfish.
  7. If happiness and health are not in your top 10, I invite you to add them in. Just for fun and because you can. Then sit back and watch what shows up.

When it comes to your personal values about happiness and health, the way you feel can offer up wonderful and powerful clues. Tune in to your body and sense where the feelings are physical sensations and what they feel like. For instance, do you feel heavy or light. Your body is the best barometer you will ever have when it comes to making the best life choices for you. Simply because, if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t the best choice – for you, in the moment. Check in regularly as you are constantly changing with each choice you make. What makes you happy or feel healthy today, may not be the same in two weeks time.

The more you clarify your values and the beliefs you hold around happiness and health, the more confident you can be when making important life decisions. Your happiness and health and how you create and sustain them are so important to feeling confident and fulfilled in your life. Incorporating these H Factors into your decisions will put the You into Value! That’s what happened for me, once I did. And the same is possible for you too.

In Light and Appreciation
Trilby

——————————————————————————

Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.Save