Did you know that public speaking is one of the most frequent and strongest fears that people have? I used to be one of them and here is what I learned. My fears stemmed from memories of numerous failed and embarrassing class speeches that had gone horribly wrong. Additionally, I grew up believing that what I had to say was not interesting anyway. Plus, I hated confrontation and public speaking was the worst case scenario. Can you relate to any of this?
Consequently, for many years I would do everything I could to avoid public speaking in any form and this meant even avoiding speaking up for myself. For a long time, I denied my inner voice that was inviting me to challenge these beliefs and to stand up and speak out fearlessly!
Don’t get me wrong. I did find many creative and ‘safe’ ways of expressing myself. Unwittingly, they have helped me to build my confidence, hone my expertise and most importantly stand in my authority and explore what I am really good at and enjoy. The advent of social media, podcasts, tele-summits, blogging and self-publishing have all contributed greatly to my ‘coaching’.
A key to effective problem solving I have found – and one that addresses all aspects of an issue – is to never face a problem head on! This can create huge resistance and amplifies feelings of frustration and overwhelm and discouragement. For example, if you are driving from A to Z and on the way there is a major road block, you would look for alternative routes and ways to get there, right? Looking for alternatives and solutions is a great way to solve problems and allows other possibilities to show up, which you may not of thought of initially. So what this advent did for me, was that I was actually learning to stand up and speak out, without seeing it as public speaking! This helped removed the fear factor and look at things from a different perspective.
It’s taken many years to finally break through this pattern of fear and shift my mindset around public speaking. Funnily enough, I realized this fully when I recently gave a talk at my local library’s ‘Author’s Evening’ to introduce my book ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE‘ and talk about what had motivated me and why. Was I nervous? You bet! In fact, unusually so. Because this time I was presenting something that was important to me – it wasn’t like those classroom speeches where I spoke about someone else’s ideas – this was about issues that were close to my heart and I felt extremely vulnerable. Yet, I wanted to be able to stand up and speak out fearlessly, even if others were challenging me and didn’t agree. I wanted to present my ideas without being confrontational and yet inspire food for thought and challenge old concepts. And I did just that!
You see, I knew my material well. It was a part of me and my life experience. I was my resource library. To create the mindset I wanted, I looked at all the beliefs that surfaced and I shifted each and every one of them. I also created those I would need as a positive back up – confidence, self-worth, awareness, humour and being willing to be vulnerable. I was able to transmute the fear of judgement of others and the need to be wrong or right. I was there to express my interesting point of view, to offer food for thought and to create connection with those whom my information could support.
More importantly, all the previous online ‘training’ had been preparing me for this moment and as I took action, even feeling really nervous, I was able to connect to that place within where I know who I am and believe in myself. It was such a wonderful and empowering experience! So much so, that it has ignited a burning desire to stand up and speak out fearlessly more often. Who would have thought this was possible? Certainly not that shy and unhappy school girl from way back. It took me six years to manifest this evening and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually. It all began a long time ago, when my Heart’s Knowing whispered to me, “You can do it!”… and so can you!
Some steps you can take towards standing up and speaking out fearlessly are:
Dare to believe in your dreams, no matter how silly or far away they may seem.
Ask and be willing to receive.
Take the baby steps and actions that come with ease to you.
Change direction as required without losing sight of your destination.
Build a mindset with beliefs that support your growth and that feel good along the way.
Trust that any thing is possible and look for opportunities!
Believe in yourself!
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist, who supports individuals to resolve and detox from their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain and trauma and experience genuine happiness, health and success.
For many years of my life, like many people, I suffered from depression and anxiety, which culminated in a series of frequent and absolutely overwhelming panic attacks.
These could strike where ever and when ever they wanted, from one second to the next, without any prior warning – so I couldn’t go and seclude myself. It ruined my life for several months and I was so afraid to leave my flat to go to work, the shops or visit friends in case I had a panic attack out of the blue. This in turn, caused my anxiety and panic attacks to escalate even further – and this was while I was medicated to ‘control’ this. Does this sound familiar?
In the moments between the panic attacks I went to see a naturopath, attempted daily meditation and desperately looked to connect with someone who would listen to my situation and offer me a solution, without attempting to drug me to my eyeballs and simply sedate me. I wanted to understand what was happening to me and how I could transform these moments of panic and find inner calm. I didn’t want my life back – I simply wanted to have a life!
My body was screaming messages at me and I felt deaf, blind and totally clueless as to how to interpret these messages. I was lost in translation. Until one day, when during a really severe panic attack, curled in a foetal position on my bed, I felt this determination to purge this panic surge up so strongly from a place deep within me. The panic seemed insurmountable, however there was a part of me that knew I had to get control over these attacks or I would go insane.
In a moment of pure grace, I heard my inner voice speak very loudly and clearly and this is what it instructed me to do, “Breathe!”. And so I did. I focused intensely on just breathing with what seemed a superhuman force. That day, I broke the cycle and hold that panic had over me. I have not had a panic attack since that day and my anxiety decreased rapidly. So I know first hand how to stop panic and I want to share with you what I learned.
Watch my interview with Michele Paiva, where we share moments of humour and insight as to how it is possible to stop panic in its tracks and what happens physiologically during these moments and how ‘Conscious Breathing’ can transform panic to peace. Enjoy and please leave a comment here on the blog or the video.
Once I understood how to process the anxiety and panic through my body, I found confidence and peace of mind. This is my desire for you too.
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Alchemist & Coach, Author and Speaker who supports the healing of relationships and alleviates emotional stress, so that individuals experience more inner harmony and freedom in their lives.
Trilby’s success story is one of transforming self-loathing into self-love and learning how to master her life. She shares her knowledge with others on how to achieve the same and more in their spiritual well-being and transformation.
Imagine if you had a compass that would effectively guide you to what you wanted! Like Jack Sparrow’s Compass in ‘Pirates of The Caribbeans’, which showed the bearer where their deepest desire could be found? This wonderful compass analogy reminded me that it is possible and I have experienced it many times before. I call this compass – synchronicity. Do you know what synchronicity is, or do you call it coincidence or luck? How can you use synchronicity as a compass?
In this vlog. I explain what my understanding of synchronicity is and how I use this a technique to help me align, identify and benchmark occurrences that enrich my life. I had a real-life example recently, which I talk about and which made me laugh.
The magical thing about these events, I have observed, is that the more I became aware of and acknowledged the information that was there, and asked for the clarity in each moment, the more frequently, quicker and clearer it shows up. This allows me to gauge my progress and to fine-tune my vibration and direction and adjust my focus.
Every day is a surprise. There are confirmations of an interconnectivity and synchronicity which inspire, titillate and confirm the inherent comedy of the universe.”
~ Billy Zane
Watch here to find out more.
Now that you’ve watched the video, can you recognize and identify times when synchronicity was working in your life? What are some of your synchronistic experiences in your life? Share in the comments.
Also, begin to notice what shows up in your life over the next days or so – allow yourself to be surprised.
In Light and Appreciation.
p.s. Would you like to experience greater well-being? Is it the right time? Check out my upcoming events.
p.s.s. Did you enjoy this blog? Leave a comment below and share with your friends. Thank you.
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports forward-thinking individuals to live the lives they were born to live by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit their unique and authentic body, mind, spirit connection and integration. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they are able to realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives.
Trilby’s success story is one of transforming self-loathing into self-love and how to be the master of her life. She shows others how to achieve the same in their spiritual well-being and transformation.
You are about to embark on a journey! So sit back, take a breath, relax and free your mind and allow yourself to wander and travel different routes of possibility.
Once Upon A Time . . . there was a rumour going around that in order to be happy, you had to have a family, a spouse, children, a successful career, lots of money, a car and the house with the white picket fence. Most people believed this was the meaning of life. But, hovering in the dark forest, there was a big bad monster named Indivi Duality.
Now Indivi Duality didn’t like this lifestyle. They found it boring and limiting. So when they were young they had run away from home because they were always being compared to and told to be like Every Body. They hated Every Body who was just like Any One.
So Indivi Duality lived all alone in the woods. Now and then they would sneak out to visit the town, but Every Body ran away in fear and locked themselves behind closed doors as soon as they saw how different Indivi Duality looked, walked, dress, spoke. They never even hung around long enough to find out what Indivi Duality wanted, thought or what they were like.
And so over the years Indivi Duality became more and more of a recluse. Keeping to themselves and venturing less and less into town. Eventually the town’s folk even forgot about Indivi Duality all together. They were so busy being like Every Body that they didn’t have time to think about Indivi Duality.
In the meantime, Indivi Duality lived happily in their little home far away from Every Body, enjoying life and being in and working together with Nature. Slowly though, something terrible began to happen. Indivi Duality began to doubt their Self. They began to think that perhaps Every Body was right and that they were wrong. There was No Body Else in Indivi Duality’s life and suddenly the beautiful and peaceful setting in the countryside no longer held its charm.
Indivi Duality had this terrible ache inside that they did not know how to fix. They worked hard in the day only to fall asleep exhausted at night, in an attempt to get rid of this new and strange feeling of discomfort. Indivi Duality started to leave their home and sneak back to the outskirts of the village and from the darkness of the trees would watch Every Body. Each day they watch all the people coming and going. It was hard to actually see them as different people because they all looked and acted the same. Yet, nevertheless, Indivi Duality began to feel worse the more they watched the village people. Indivi Duality felt very unhappy and felt an ache inside that got worse each time they saw how Every Body was living.
When at home they felt awful because all they could think about was how Every Body was together and they were here on their own. This went on for several weeks and then months. Indivi Duality began neglecting their daily routine to spend more time watching Every Body. The peace they had once experienced on their own was gone and there was an incessant voice going on in their head, telling them how they were no good because they were on their own and who would want them anyway as they were so different.
Eventually, Indivi Duality started to feel frail and jumped at every little noise. They couldn’t approach Every Body because they ran away screaming in fear and yet Indivi Duality fell terrible on their own. They lost their appetite and got weaker and weaker.
After several months living this way, Indivi Duality ran out of food. All their animal friends had moved away to greener pastures because when Indivi Duality began spending so much time sneaking around the village, the crops were left unattended and began to fail. So their animal friends left, because Indivi Duality was grumpy and not very nice to be around. In fact, Indivi Duality ignored them, having become obsessed with what Every Body was doing, and so they drifted away.
Time passed and eventually Indiv Duality began to decline into depression and listlessness. They lost interest in everything else that was going on around them, so obsessed were they with becoming like Every Body. Yet they knew that they could never be like Every Body anyway. This made Indivi Duality feel so sad.
They slowly started to slip away into a feverish delusion from which nothing could save them, so it seemed. Physically by now Indivi Duality was so weak and they hardly even thought about Every Body at all anymore. They just had no energy. And so eventually over time, due to lack of food, self-care, motivation and filled with a terrible sense of incompletion and dissatisfaction, Indivi Duality simply gave up and disappeared from sight.
Where Indivi Duality is today, no one knows for sure.
The End . . .
* * * * * * * * *
Did you know that this style of writing is a ‘metaphor’? This style is used to personify different concepts and is effective when it comes to addressing subconscious aspects and helping to render them conscious. Just like any fairy tale is believed to contain subliminal and hidden and subconscious messages.
Originally, I intended this metaphor to be a part of my book ‘FEARLESSLY ALONE’, however I chose to use it as a separate article to emphasize how our individuality and identity is very much a by product of socialization. Did you enjoy it, find it interesting, confusing, what emotions did it evoke? Let me know by commenting below.
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Speaker and Body Energy Alchemist. She supports forward-thinking individuals to live the lives they were born to live by resolving the core imbalances that destabilize and limit their unique and authentic body, mind, spirit connection and integration. When they connect the essence of who they truly are, they are able to realize and align with their full potential and live happy, healthy and successful lives. Trilby’s success story is one of learning self-love and to master her life and she shows others how to achieve the same in their spiritual well-being and transformation.
Whilst many people who know the power of beliefs will agree, there is a shortage of people who truly believe they are awesome and who feel really good about feeling this way about themselves. So what holds so many back, when it comes to firstly believing they are awesome and secondly living in an awesome way?
I find many people confuse knowing how awesome they are with being arrogant. Somewhere along the line, in their system of beliefs and values, these two qualities have become collapsed together on some subconscious level and perhaps more importantly, with a negative connotation.
And so they are afraid to show up as awesome because they will be judged by others. And of course, they are also, on some subconscious level judging themselves in a negative way. If this was not so, there would be no problem in showing up as awesome and there would also be little judgment around arrogance either for that matter.
Embracing your awesomeness comes from a system of valuing yourself and feeling confident about what you do and can share with others. On the other hand, arrogance tends to stem paradoxically from a feeling of low-esteem and in order to compensate, the person will often adopt a behaviour of exaggerated confidence albeit one that puts others down and does not listen to other people’s opinions or ideas.
Here’s a quiz.
Think of someone who you consider as awesome. What are the qualities of this person that attract you? Now think of someone who you consider as arrogant. What are the qualities of this person that attract you? When done, ask yourself, who would you prefer being around and why? Write the reasons down and how you feel when with these people.
People enjoy being in the company of people who embrace their awesomeness. The main reason is because these people feel good about themselves and exude charm and confidence. And people will want to spend time in the company of these people. Life is simple too short to spend it not enjoying your own awesomeness and then being with awesome people.
Judgment is a natural part of the mental assessment process. However, you still have the choice as to what choice you are going to make. To play small or to play awesome! What if the only thing that is stopping you from being awesome, or even more awesome, is judgment? What if you gave that up, right here and now? Imagine how organically awesome your life can be! Are you ready to dare to be your awesomeness?
Believe in yourself and allow that to grow. The world really needs your awesomeness right now!
In Light and Appreciation
Trilby Johnson is an Author, Body Energy Alchemist and Speaker. She specializes in supporting forward-thinking change makers, coaches, spiritual entrepreneurs, healers and sensitives to connect the essence of who they truly are! They can then realize and align with their full potential for a happy, healthy and successful life! Trilby’s readers and clients love her work for one reason – Transformation! They arrive with emotional, mental and behavioural baggage and they leave with a new sense of Self and Purpose, Peace and Joy.
Your life is worth talking about! Book in for a complimentary Assessment Consult to talk about the options of boosting you from awe to awesome!