5 Ways To Free Yourself From Emotional Rollercoasters

5 Ways To Free Yourself From Emotional Rollercoasters

Emotions are very much a part of our daily lives and are deemed to be what distinguishes us from other ‘animals.’

Yet they can also be what trips us up again and again, as long as we are slaves to them, rather than their master.

For much of my life, I was on a series of distressful emotional roller-coasters that eventually resulted in mental and emotional health issues. Long-term these impacted on my relationships, jobs, finances, health and mindset.

Until one day, over feeling miserable and broken, I said, ‘No More.’

To change, I sought out information and professionals to help me acquire the skills I needed and that I hadn’t received while growing up. I was thirsty for knowledge and wanted to learn how to be happy without feeling like life was an emotional roller-coaster that was out of control.

Here are 5 Ways to be Free of Emotional Roller-Coasters that I Found to Work:

 

1. Keep Off the Ride:

This may seem obvious and yet it’s often overlooked. It’s important to know what pushes your buttons and to then manage situations and people you allow into your life.  How often do you get that little niggle inside and you ignore it? This is where the roller coaster ride begins – when we don’t heed that inner knowing of what is and isn’t good for us. This often occurs as we are afraid of being judged, failing, not fitting in or being wrong.

It’s important to notice and acknowledge all emotions, whether they are considered good or bad. They are messengers of the programmes playing out in our heads and which we are often indoctrinated into as we grow up, through parents, society, culture, and religion.

Get to know and manage your own personal emotional states, which will mean that you can make more informed decisions and be able to manage yourself with more confidence.

 

2. Meditate on A Regular Basis:

Meditation is a great preventative measure when done on a regular basis, as it helps the brain to actually have the time to organize information with you aware. Practised regularly, this helps diffuse and process volatile emotional energies before they get out of control.

Contrary to what many may believe or have been instructed, I found attempting to meditate when you are in the throes of strong emotions is futile. It’s like blowing on a fire that is already out of control in an attempt to put it out. Don’t try to meditate when you are on an emotional roller-coaster as this can feel like things are actually getting worse!

Wait until you are feeling calmer before you sit down to meditation.

Meditation helps to install a practise of being able to respond more calmly and mindfully to daily events.

 

3. Count to 10:

Ever heard Grandma say this? Well, she was definitely wise and onto something. It’s always wise to avoid taking action or making decisions when on an emotional roller-coaster. We have all experienced the damage one can do when under strong emotion and the regret that follows.

Emotions, especially strong ones, can swamp the brain, as it becomes flooded with physical reactions and then the brain is challenged on which reaction to prioritise. When stopping to count to 10, this gives the body a short lapse of time that opens a window in the brain, to move from flight and fight to more logical processing.

 

4. Stop and Breathe:

This simple yet powerful tool continues to be underused. When I say ‘take a breath’ to clients they laugh or make some cryptic comment – at least at first. And yet, stopping to take a breath changes everything.

Firstly, the act of stopping stops you. Use the previous point of counting to 10 to help you stop. Do this physically – pull over in the car, leave the room, stand up if sitting or sit down if standing. Change your physical stance.

Next, focus on taking a big conscious breath. Take several until you feel something shift. If the emotions begin to bubble up again, acknowledge them and make a conscious decision to deal with them at a later time once you are calmer and can think straight.

The mind is a great selection tool when calm and clear and not clouded by strong emotions. A clear head allows you to make a more informed choice and choose how to behave appropriately. Stopping and breathing will give you the time to choose.

The more often you practise stopping to take a conscious breath, the more you will unlock your secret weapon to stress release. I invite you to access my free audio DESTRESS DETOX RELAX now.

 

5. Learn Empowering Life Skills:

Hire a mentor or coach to learn the life skills you are missing. Most of us have not be taught how to manage our emotions in healthy ways and so we keep on repeating the same behavioural patterns. Until we replace the pattern with something new and different. If you struggle with emotional overwhelm often, there is no shame in seeking out support.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” well, neither was your emotional make-up.

Here are A Few Examples on How to Slowly Increase New Life Skills:

  • Read a wide range of articles on emotional intelligence and techniques.
  • Keep a journal of your own emotions and write about them – putting things down on paper is very empowering and it also keeps you accountable.
  • Make friends with your emotions – it’s easier to install change in a friendly environment.
  • Talk to other people and listen to their stories – it helps give a bigger picture.

 

As humans, we love to have meaning in our life… to feel the thrill… which can sometimes be found while on roller-coasters.

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea though, and especially if you end up feeling derailed emotionally most of the time.

Life is not meant to lived as a constant roller-coaster ride, at least in my opinion; it’s meant more to be about gentle rises and falls and ebbs and flows. The above suggestions can help in learning to master emotions in ways that are healthy and beneficial to you and those around you, so that there’s more freedom and enjoyment rather than drama at the expense of one’s sanity and well-being.

– Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker who helps her clients go from zero to hero, as they heal,  alleviate stress and cultivate freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her tried and tested know-how to create inner harmony and outer balance. 

If you desire to experience a deeper sense of connection with yourself and others and expand your consciousness, contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Assessment so that you too can go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

An Ageless Mindset

An Ageless Mindset

Oscar Wilde’s insightful quote, “With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.”, really resonates with me. This highlights that across our lives we always have the choice of what we believe and how we respond. This is the essence of any mindset and being responsible when it comes to ageing and how each of us will experience this. Many people still do not know or embrace this. And quite honestly, because we haven’t been taught to think of ageing as anything other than ‘growing old’. Ageing, is often a reminder of our mortality. This scares many people.

I enjoy ageing gracefully – it’s true, I do! One reason for this is that it means I am alive! For many years – when younger – I struggled to enjoy being alive. I felt confused, an outsider in my own life and on several occasions didn’t want to live. Today, I celebrate each day and that I am alive and even more so, that I chose to stick around and embrace life. I enjoying this phase of the adventure that is my life.

Today, I love ageing gracefully because I used to be at the opposite of the spectrum – I was scared of living! When I chose to embrace both life and death as an experience on the continuum of life itself, I was freed from mindsets of stress and fear.

Stress and fear have a huge impact on our physical bodies and cause the body to age much quicker. The energy of our emotions and thoughts have a direct impact on our physical bodies. This knowledge is still vague and misunderstood for many, not to mention the ability to change this.

When I meet with a prospective client, we discuss some of the aspects that come to light for them and also where I can encourage them to begin enjoying their ageing process in a happy and healthy way and offer ways in which they can accomplish this.

As my relationship with my own body has grown and deepened, I am enjoying the different experiences I have. Yes, I can look in the mirror and notice that my face has more wrinkles and judge these as undesirable. Compared to whose face though? Who am I going to compare my own unique face to anyway?

I feel much calmer and confident within myself now and worry less about what the fashion is and more about feeling comfortable and happy with what I am doing. And I love seeing how others find their way of expressing themselves.

I openly declare each birthday that I am and feel younger. I enjoy the joy that I feel when I doing this. I also find it amusing to see the disbelieving glances from others, who don’t know me or think I am quite mad. I have had others warn me about menopause and how this will change my life and body. “Good” I say! I welcome these changes all with ease.

When did we ever become so resistant and abhorrent of this phase of change? Ageing is a natural process and different phase of life. Resisting it is not going to make it any easier or more enjoyable.

I know that it is possible for the human body to age differently than from the commonly held current mindset. We can observe this already with many mature elders who certainly do not resemble their basic physical age, as previous generations may have. Access to better living conditions and food has played a role here, however, mindset is the final frontier to explore.

The human body changes for sure. The speed and degree to which it does and how it ages depends largely on the belief systems that a person adheres too. This is evident in where several people of the same ages can have very different appearances.

Being present in and with my body each moment, while I may be ageing, I don’t feel like I am becoming old. I have more energy and joy in my life today that I did when I was much younger. I find it amazing when I do think about my physical age, because it really is just a reference number on my birth certificate.

What about the future? Well I will deal with that one day at a time. I love ageing gracefully and while I do this, I feel alive. Yes, I have up and down days – I don’t blame it on growing old though – because I know about my infinite nature. Could that make the difference?

Would we age or grow old and to the degree that we do, if we didn’t hold the current beliefs that we do? I know that bodies hears, feels and see everything and the process of ageing is a collaboration. Together, we are on a wonderful journey – two fellow travellers and conscious creators. I find it empowering to explore the possibilities of being forever younger in body, mind and spirit.

In my own personal transformation and from working with many clients and their beautiful bodies, minds and souls – I have glimpsed future possibilities that are beyond time and limitations.

Perhaps ageing serves to remind us of our mortality to wake us up and break down the resistance we have to this life phase. When we truly understand how our beliefs and thoughts impact on our physical environment and circumstances, does it not stand to reason that we may be selling ourselves short?

Allow the ageing process to become one of celebration and exploring new aspects of ourselves and life, rather than the current perception of ageing as a slow and often painful decline into nothingness.

Enjoy every moment of your life, not because it may be your last and more because you are still alive and kicking.

AGE IS NOT IMPORTANT! WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS NOW – Trilby Johnson

Many Blissings

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker who supports the healing of relationships and alleviates emotional stress, so that individuals experience more inner harmony and freedom in their lives. Trilby’s success story is one of going from emotional zero to emotional hero. She helps her clients achieve and cultivate the same.

Contact Trilby for a complimentary Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment to boost your emotional hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer. Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Change Your Body-Image

Change Your Body-Image

Many of us, women especially, struggle with low body-image issues! We are not taught to celebrate our bodies as the beautiful and amazing highly sophisticated and unique creations they are. Instead we judge them and torture ourselves and then are surprised with we experience dis-ease on some level or another or feel deeply unhappy about our looks.

If you had to write a letter about or to your body, what would you write, ask, make notes about? Some years ago I did a bodywork class and one of the activities was to write a love note to our bodies. The facilitator would post us the letter at a later date, to remind us of what we had written. By the time the note arrived by mail, I had totally forgotten about it and it was lovely to receive it.

I invite you to write your own love note to your body and share mine here to inspire you. When you write, sit quietly and take a deep breath. Then connect to your feelings and how you want to feel towards your body. Don’t sensor your words, however do focus on positive intentions. You will know you are on track as you will feel good.

Dear beautiful Body of Mine,
Every day I am more grateful for you and all that you be.
You take care of me without me even asking, always unconditionally delivering your best. How did I get so lucky to have you?
Through the darkest moments you have been there for me and always saw me through, yet you were often the last one I was to thank.
Every day in a million ways, you care for me and are eternally renewing and refreshing and youthing.
Over the last year you have shown me just how much you care, even though I often override and ignore, you remain …………..
Despite my judgements of you, you have continued tirelessly to contribute to the infinite being that I be.  How did I get so lucky to share consciousness with you?
You have shared my moments of pain and pleasure and allow me to receive all the sensual delights of this physical sexualness, showing me what phenomenal and orgasmic possibilities Life be’s. For all the laughter, tears, joy, movement, copulation, sexuality, sensuality, eating, sleeping, health – I am in awe and gratitude.
As our union becomes communion, between you and me and all that be, how does it get even better than this and what are the infinite possibilities?
Yummy body, show me clearly who will contribute to my life in greater ways, both on a personal and business level. Show me how to be communion.
Beautiful yummy body of mine, untold gratitude for you and the gift that you be. Now together let’s go have a sexy, phenomenal, orgasmic life !!
Much love and gratitude for You.

Put your love note in a safe place and then take it out in say two or three months later and read it over. Or post it to yourself from somewhere else when you are out of town or travelling, so you receive it later.

Make your conversations with your body something well worth listening to! 

Your body will thank you in ways that you may not even have imagined possible.

Many Blissings.
Trilby x

 


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker who supports the healing of relationships and alleviates emotional stress, so that individuals experience more inner harmony and freedom in their lives. Trilby’s success story is one of going from emotional zero to emotional hero. She helps her clients achieve and cultivate the same.

Contact Trilby for a complimentary Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment to boost your self-esteem now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer. Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

Have you ever felt lonely?

Odds are that you have, at some point or other in your life. For some, this is a temporary and transient emotion that comes and goes. For others, feeling lonely can be a more permanent and unwanted visitor, that has far outstayed its welcome.

For instance, recent reports from Help Lines for those in need, show an increased number of calls, in particular during or around public holidays, from both people in relationships as well as those living alone.

Loneliness doesn’t discriminate!

Emotions are powerful players in our lives and depending on what and how they make us feel, are considered either friends or foes. Within our societies, cultures and gender roles, we become conditioned early on about what type of emotional behaviour is or isn’t acceptable. Yet, simultaneously, emotions are extremely personal and influenced by an individual’s inner relationship and sensibilities and personality types, such as introverts and extroverts.

Regardless of your personality type, however, it’s important and handy to know what to do and how to respond when loneliness begins to spread its fingers across our hearts and minds, to taint our lives in sad, dull and uncomfortable colours.

Loneliness has the power to disempower us so deeply in the most profound corners of our lives.

I know this because I used to feel constantly lonely, isolated and totally useless. So, I want to share five keys that helped me to beat loneliness, that can work for you too!

Here are 5 Ways to Beat Loneliness:

 

1. Admit How You are Feeling.

This may seem counterproductive at first because it can stir up fear. The fear of being consumed by feeling lonely. The fact of the matter, however, is that until you acknowledge what you feel, you are a slave to it. Many people feel ashamed or guilty to admit that they feel lonely, because of what it may imply. There is a fear that by admitting to something, it makes it true. This is a falsehood!

By admitting what it is you are feeling, you take back your power and can be objective about what’s really going on.

What you won’t own, enslaves you!

 

2. Give Your Loneliness A Form.

Strong emotions can often make us feel irrational. So, a great way to begin to ‘contain the situation’ in a safe environment and way, is by giving loneliness a form. For example, when you feel lonely, give it a scale of intensity from 1 -10. This is helpful, as it creates a space of detachment from the feeling, while still admitting it exists.

Each time you give a form to your loneliness helps you to see the intensity of your loneliness in a constructive way.

Remember that your emotions are real in your mind/brain and by giving them a form, as in a number, helps you to take a step back and be able to be detached in a healthy way.

 

3. Dig Deep.

The last thing you probably want to do when it comes to loneliness, is to dig deeper right? That’s fear – False Evidence Appearing Real – talking! And boy, it can feel scary feeling lonely. So, to beat this fear, dig deep and explore what is underneath the feeling of loneliness.

Make a list of all the feelings and thoughts that come to mind, no matter what they are. And practice makes progress, so do this often.

You can only change what you are willing to confront. Healing comes through feeling.

Which brings me to the next key point.

 

4. Don’t Shoot the Messenger.

Loneliness, like all emotions, brings a message with it. Humans, after all, are highly complex individuals. We are also creatures of habit and so it’s important to find out what is underneath our emotions. There is always a belief system that is attached to an emotional reaction. It’s part of our social, cultural and gender upbringing.

Ask yourself, “what is making me feel lonely?” and explore what comes up. This may sound challenging and requires a good dose of being honest with yourself in a gentle yet rigorous way.

The messenger is you, telling you more about yourself. Stop and listen and you will find that with more clarity the loneliness very often fades into the background and the true issue can be resolved, bringing peace of mind and calm.

 

5. Change Your Emotional Map.

Did you know that for the brain, all behaviours and emotions are mini programmes running the show? Otherwise called habits. The above keys are an outline on how to change your internal and emotional map. When you do this, your external map will begin to match up.

Allow yourself to stop and ask for directions on the way. You don’t have to beat loneliness on your own. I know from personal experience, that finding the help you need is key to beating loneliness.

Add pit stops of support to your emotional map as you progress and look for new destinations.

Allow that it’s quite natural to feel lonely at moments in your life – the trick is in learning not to get stuck there. I hope you find these 5 ways to beat loneliness effective, as they serve me well. If you would like more tips on how to beat loneliness and be happy effectively, my book FEARLESSLY ALONE takes an in-depth look at what makes us feel lonely and really afraid and how to break free and find your happy, on your own terms.

Many Blissings

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

The Art of Conscious Detachment

The Art of Conscious Detachment

Is this yet another new well-being technique? I prefer to see it as a different and fresh angle on an ancient philosophy for experiencing relaxation, health and spiritual enlightenment. The Art of Conscious Detachment in my definition is the ability to simple observe and participate in whatever is going on, neutrally, i.e. without judgement. Judgement is a mental function and will always create separation and attachment. The practice of this art is otherwise more commonly referred to as Meditation

Ask a large cross section of the general public about meditation and very few can give a clear explanation of what it is and how to do it, whilst many shy away from it and refer to it has some spiritual stuff. Over the last several decades, meditation is a New Age term that has become much bandied about, in the West at least. Yet few people actually understand or practise it. Countless informative and valuable books have been written on the subject of meditation, nevertheless today many people are still looking for quick, effective and practical solutions. The days of going into isolation for weeks or months on end to achieve or experience a deep meditative state, are over and beyond the scope of the majority. Although much can be discussed here, in this short article I briefly touch on a couple of underlying premises that will facilitate an easy and effective ability to experience the art of conscious detachment, as well as demystify the myth and hopefully make it inviting, stimulating and do-able to more people. So, let’s take a practical look at this metaphysical state!

Meditation, for many, has a spiritual connotation to it, which can put a lot of people off, as they feel they do not fit into this category. The good news is that the art of conscious detachment is not subjective to whether one is actively spiritual or not. Whilst the New Age movement has done much to promote meditation as a tool for those on a spiritual path, it is also very simply a way of life, as can be witnessed in Indian and Eastern cultures, where people grow up with this as a daily practise.

Now, many people who attempt meditating for the first time, may give up pretty soon because the art of detachment cannot be approached cognitively. Meditation is a paradox, in that it is a state that is achieved through the mind and yet it is not of the mind. It is indeed a cultivated art to reach a state of being in conscious detachment. The challenge come to those who meditate, whether a novice or a veteran, because the second one attempts to empty the mind, is exactly the moment that the monkey mind begins to chatter very loudly and incessantly. Sounds familiar? J Even with regular practise this can still occur, however, it does become easier to seduce the mental mind into releasing its vice-like grip, with practise and regularity, which facilitates the increased experience of conscious detachment.

One of the easiest, quickest and most effective ways to experience this cessation of mind chatter is through something that every human being on this planet does. BREATHING! It is something we all already do in order to stay alive in our physical bodies. Breathing is a built-in reflex, automatically controlled for the most part by the brain. However, it is also one of the few biological functions that we are able to control consciously, within limits.  When done with control or focus, a very particular shift occurs, not only in the body but across the board.

In Hatha Yoga, a primary principle is: Where awareness goes, energy glows and where energy flows, awareness goes. A way in which this can be experienced is that with focus on the breath, everything seems to slow down and yet expand simultaneously. Almost like when zooming out with a telescopic lens, one is afforded a view of a bigger picture. When we zoom out by focusing on the breath, the mental mind eases its grip on our awareness and more energy flows in. This creates a greater sense of detachment.

Another side-effect of controlled breathing is that it impacts on hormones which control body metabolism and functionality by carrying signals to and from the brain. For example, controlled breathing is effective for calming nerves or anxiety, as it sends a message to the brain that all is well and to lower adrenaline rush and heart rate.

The way a habit is formed and programmed in the brain is through repetition, which forms new synapses in the brain. Naturally the more you repeat something, the quicker and more automated it becomes. So, with regular repetitive practise neural pathways can be created and reinforced to support and stimulate the state of conscious detachment.  Now, this does not have to be a long laborious process or set in stone. So start small – remember to break down the elephant into smaller pieces, as this makes for easier handling.

Sitting down and expecting to know how to experience deep meditation the first time, is setting the bar a bit high and causes unnecessary pressure.  If you choose to begin with half a minute of conscious breathing every day, very shortly you will notice how much easier it happens on its own. At first don’t be too concerned with the when and how. Just do it when it pops up into your thoughts and you can also ask yourself to remember to prompt you. Sounds crazy perhaps, but it works. Why not try it?

So, no need to go and sit for hours on end in a dark silent room. Increase the length of time to find your own comfortable routine. A hint: if you feel as if you are no longer getting anything out of the time you spend, try changing the routine, environment and length of time. Just as everyday is different, so will be the quality and time of your meditation, which can be influenced by physical, emotional and environmental factors. Energy is in constant state of flux and as an Energy Being, so are you.

The regular practice of the art of conscious detachment contributes through controlled breathing leads to an increased sense of overall well-being. This is now more widely acknowledged, in particular by the medical world. Some benefits experienced can be: relaxation, improved energy levels, better circulation, restful sleep, reduced medicinal side-effects, more joy, ability to control anxiety, increased appetite, greater sense of peace/connectedness, etc

Now for what reason, would you not choose to have some of this?

Many Blissings.

Trilby

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Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.