3 Self-Esteem Boosters

3 Self-Esteem Boosters

Are you someone who suffers from low self-esteem? Then I have great news for you! No matter what you have believed up until this moment, it’s possible to change it. Through the right positive focus and resolving some limiting beliefs and core patterns, you can start right now, here today and feel better about yourself and build a positive self-esteem.

Self-Esteem is the regard in which you hold yourself. A lot is learned from parents, education, culture and intuition. Self-Esteem, in my experience, is very much a question about connection on a physical, mental, emotional and soul level. It’s first and foremost about the connection you have with and to yourself – how you think about and feel about yourself and the manner in which you talk to and about yourself. It’s all about you in fact!

For many years, I struggled with low self-esteem, so I know how horrible this feels. In fact, I used to hate myself and my life was miserable because of these feelings. I believed what others had told me about myself, even although it hurt terribly. What hurt so much, was that I knew deep down inside that all of that simply wasn’t true – and yet I let myself down. Until I found another and new way.

For me to get from that place of not liking or loving myself at all, to where I cultivated a level of high self-esteem, took a while plus a lot of honest introspection. So today, I want to share with you, 3 of the elements that I consciously chose to add to and cultivate in my life, that helped me to boost a high and healthy sense of self-esteem. Here’s what I learned.

1. Element of Self-Love

Having been someone who didn’t love myself very much, I can guarantee you that Loving Yourself is the most important thing you will even do. Not only for yourself – also for the other people in your life.

Then, it’s about how you relate to others in ways that either support or disempower your level of self-esteem. The reason is that, when you truly love yourself and allow yourself to be who you truly are – the good, the bad, the ugly and all the other bits – you are a Gift! You can be confident. You can let go of the doubt, guilt and shame – all of which were probably not yours to begin with.

It took me a long time – through bouts of depression, abusive relationships and situations, suicidal tendencies and many low and dark moments – until I realized that all I really wanted, was to love myself.

So please give your permission today, if you are not yet there, to LOVE YOURSELF. It is soooo important! And only you can take the first step and continuously move forward.

Self-esteem, is a by-product of loving yourself and not vice-versa! So make sure your are not missing out on this crucial self-esteem booster.

2. Element of Worth

I have worked with so many people, who believe that they are not enough. I used to be one of them. They believe that if they try harder or hard enough, if they give more, if they behave in a certain way, that finally they will be enough … and be worthy of other people’s praise, love, approval, or something else.

I have witnessed it and felt it myself – the huge sense of relief that comes with finally accepting and knowing that I am enough already. That I am worthy. And with this, the knowing comes that we all have worth and are worthy!!!

There is nothing to prove, despite that so many of us have been duped into believing it is something to be achieved or earned. The problems arise when we start to doubt or are led astray by other’s opinions and when we think that we have to DO something to Be Enough. We are enough . . . evident in the fact that Life itself has given us Life. We are enough!

So please, choose to know that you are worthy. This choice to know that you are worth yourself will add and boost your self-esteem beyond measure.

3. Element of Safety

This may surprise many people – I know it did me, when I realized that not feeling safe had a huge impact on my sense of self-esteem. Many of us are so afraid of the judgement of others. Perhaps even more so and subconsciously, we are afraid of our own judgement. I don’t know about you, but I have often been my harshest and most unforgiving critic!

I can remember the acute sense of relief I experienced when I finally let go of judging myself and wanting to control everything … aahhhhh … it was amazing! I began to feel safe.

When you don’t feel safe, worthy, nor love yourself, these mindsets create a gravitational pull to everything ‘out there’ that matches these lower vibes of self-esteem. Life will serve up the very things you often fear, as a sign post of your security vibe. Life will show you often paradoxically where you need to boost levels of love, worth and safety.

When you feel safe, you feel okay much of the time – even when you make mistakes. It feels safe even when you don’t always know exactly what to do, all of the time. It feels safe for you to be You – with or without other people’s approval.

Safety, is an inner state of being. Yes, you can live in a dangerous places – I’ve done that – and even in these situations, you can still feel safe. You can begin by claiming and affirming

I love myself,

I am enough

I am worthy,

I am always safe!

Even if at first you don’t quite believe or feel it completely. Claiming and declaring these will boost your self-esteem no end.

This does not mean there will not be days that are difficult nor that you will not have dips in your self-esteem. Simply no longer feed them and soon you will find yourself bouncing back. You will begin to enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem like feeling more confident, happier, healthier and successful in your daily endeavours.

YOU are your most priceless and valuable commodity! Believe in yourself and your self-esteem will follow. Actively boost yours daily with thoughts, words and actions of love, worth and safety that will nurture a healthy and loving connection and web of self-esteem. This is not to be confused with arrogance!

Hold yourself in esteem – this is your purpose.

Many Blissings

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Relationships as Teachers

Relationships as Teachers

Relationships as Teachers

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Everything you experience in your life, is in relation to something or someone else. It is in many ways the crux with which you define your individuality and from which you will draw on as reference points. Much of our social behaviour is shaped by and through the relationships we have or do not have and how these impact on our sense of self.

Some relationships are easily identifiable and recognizable, such as family, spouses, children, colleagues, etc and in earlier days, any diverse forms of these were not accepted within society. Even today for instance, many struggle to accept same sex relationships as valid although happily attitudes are changing.

Education and information play a huge role in how we regards and manage our own relationships. So it stands to reason that if the eduction and information is biased or misguiding, then this will impact on the relationships we have, taking them at face value.

There are many more types relationships however than the mainstream ones identified and accepted. There is the relationship we have first and foremost with ourselves. What kind of a relationship do you enjoy with yourself? Is it a happy and healthy one? Is it a judgemental one? Is it one where you don’t feel you are worthy or good enough? All of these points of views are insights into the quality of relating that you have with yourself.

This is important to acknowledge, because the quality of relating that you have with yourself informs everything you do – the way you behave towards yourself and others. And also because very often the baseline for this relationship is learned by you from other people. Until you understand how deep this goes, much of your relating will be bases on and influenced by other people’s beliefs and ideology.

For instance, do you associate your emotional states with physical symptoms in your body? When I first experienced depression, I was given medical and psychiatric support, to ease my mind. There was never mention though of the connection between the numbness I felt and the wealth of emotions of anger and sadness that I had repressed for many years. There was no discussion linking the debilitating migraines that I would experience and the relationship these had to the emotional stress I had felt for many years. Thankfully I had a wonderful ally that cut through all the confusion once I began to listen to it… my body.

The human body is in my opinion one of the most sophisticated and advanced pieces of technology we have at our disposal. Through it, we relate to everything – visible and invisible. It is, I have found, an infallible resource, one we learn to tap into and listen to its hidden wisdom. For the most part, we are taught to refer to our mind for information. Whilst effective, this source of information is limited and dependent for the most part on how much information it’s possible to retrieve from memory. In Cognitive pscyhological circles, it’s acknowledged that the subconscious mind is much larger than the conscious part. Yet no mention is made to the way in which our bodies relate to these informations. The subconscious information is often ‘felt’ via the bodies senses and can be overlooked by the mental senses.

This way of relating with energy is my understanding of intuition. However, unless we are aware of the link between say physical pain and your emotions of say stress, depression, illness, we are at a disadvantage to know where to begin to make changes. And this in turn will impact on and have repercussions on all of our outer relationships with ourselves, others and situations. Of course, the same goes for postitive emotions. If you are happy, then the chances of you hanging out with people who are predominantly unhappy, is slim.

For this reason, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you can have. The extent to which you relate well or not with yourself, will be reflected in all your other relationships and manner of relating. It is how you are connected and go about connecting.

Now perhaps this is obvious to those of you who had a positive and uplifting upbringing. For many however, who did not, this information is important because, once you change and value your relationship to self in positive and uplifting ways, then the majority of your relating and relationships will become a match.

A great place to start is to sit down and identify the qualities that you are looking for in your relationships – with yourself and then others. Set yourself free from the default setting of what a relationship is or supposed to be. Create your own relationship map, then follow that. It will lead you to the kind of relationships you are looking for and want to create. Don’t settle for second best in any relationship, whether personal or professional. Make your relationship with yourself no. 1 … and the best will follow. True love starts at home – in your Heart of Hearts – and You are the key that unlocks the treasure of all relationship in your life.

May you be your own Valentine before any other, so that love may grow strong and true from and through you.

Much love.

Trilby

p.s. You may want to read my blog Don’t Overlook This When it Comes to Intimacy – where I explore the role of intimacy in relationship


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

Stand up and speak out fearlessly

Did you know that public speaking is one of the most frequent and strongest fears that people have? I used to be one of them and here is what I learned. My fears stemmed from memories of numerous failed and embarrassing class speeches that had gone horribly wrong. Additionally, I grew up believing that what I had to say was not interesting anyway. Plus, I hated confrontation and public speaking was the worst case scenario. Can you relate to any of this?

Consequently, for many years I would do everything I could to avoid public speaking in any form and this meant even avoiding speaking up for myself. For a long time, I denied my inner voice that was inviting me to challenge these beliefs and to stand up and speak out fearlessly!

Don’t get me wrong. I did find many creative and ‘safe’ ways of expressing myself. Unwittingly, they have helped me to build my confidence, hone my expertise and most importantly stand in my authority and explore what I am really good at and enjoy. The advent of social media, podcasts, tele-summits, blogging and self-publishing have all contributed greatly to my ‘coaching’.

A key to effective problem solving I have found – and one that addresses all aspects of an issue – is to never face a problem head on! This can create huge resistance and amplifies feelings of frustration and overwhelm and discouragement. For example, if you are driving from A to Z and on the way there is a major road block, you would look for alternative routes and ways to get there, right? Looking for alternatives and solutions is a great way to solve problems and allows other possibilities to show up, which you may not of thought of initially. So what this advent did for me, was that I was actually learning to stand up and speak out, without seeing it as public speaking! This helped removed the fear factor and look at things from a different perspective.

It’s taken many years to finally break through this pattern of fear and shift my mindset around public speaking. Funnily enough, I realized this fully when I recently gave a talk at my local library’s ‘Author’s Evening’ to introduce my book FEARLESSLY ALONE‘ and talk about what had motivated me and why. Was I nervous? You bet! In fact, unusually so. Because this time I was presenting something that was important to me – it wasn’t like those classroom speeches where I spoke about someone else’s ideas – this was about issues that were close to my heart and I felt extremely vulnerable. Yet, I wanted to be able to stand up and speak out fearlessly, even if others were challenging me and didn’t agree. I wanted to present my ideas without being confrontational and yet inspire food for thought and challenge old concepts. And I did just that!

You see, I knew my material well. It was a part of me and my life experience. I was my resource library. To create the mindset I wanted, I looked at all the beliefs that surfaced and I shifted each and every one of them. I also created those I would need as a positive back up – confidence, self-worth, awareness, humour and being willing to be vulnerable. I was able to transmute the fear of judgement of others and the need to be wrong or right. I was there to express my interesting point of view, to offer food for thought and to create connection with those whom my information could support.

More importantly, all the previous online ‘training’ had been preparing me for this moment and as I took action, even feeling really nervous, I was able to connect to that place within where I know who I am and believe in myself. It was such a wonderful and empowering experience! So much so, that it has ignited a burning desire to stand up and speak out fearlessly more often. Who would have thought this was possible? Certainly not that shy and unhappy school girl from way back. It took me six years to manifest this evening and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually. It all began a long time ago, when my Heart’s Knowing whispered to me, “You can do it!”… and so can you!

Some steps you can take towards standing up and speaking out fearlessly are:

  • Dare to believe in your dreams, no matter how silly or far away they may seem.
  • Ask and be willing to receive.
  • Take the baby steps and actions that come with ease to you.
  • Change direction as required without losing sight of your destination.
  • Build a mindset with beliefs that support your growth and that feel good along the way.
  • Trust that any thing is possible and look for opportunities!
  • Believe in yourself!

In Light and Appreciation

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

 

How to effectively use Synchronicity as a Compass

How to effectively use Synchronicity as a Compass

How to effectively use Synchronicity as a Compass

Imagine if you had a compass that would effectively guide you to what you wanted! Like Jack Sparrow’s Compass in ‘Pirates of The Caribbeans’, which showed the bearer where their deepest desire could be found? This wonderful compass analogy reminded me that it is possible and I have experienced it many times before. I call this compass – synchronicity. Do you know what synchronicity is, or do you call it coincidence or luck? How can you use synchronicity as a compass?

In this vlog. I explain what my understanding of synchronicity is and how I use this a technique to help me align, identify and benchmark occurrences that enrich my life. I had a real-life example recently, which I talk about and which made me laugh.

The magical thing about these events, I have observed, is that the more I became aware of and acknowledged the information that was there, and asked for the clarity in each moment, the more frequently, quicker and clearer it shows up. This allows me to gauge my progress and to fine-tune my vibration and direction and adjust my focus.

Every day is a surprise. There are confirmations of an interconnectivity and synchronicity which inspire, titillate and confirm the inherent comedy of the universe.”
~ Billy Zane

Watch here to find out more.

Now that you’ve watched the video, can you recognize and identify times when synchronicity was working in your life? What are some of your synchronistic experiences in your life? Share in the comments.
Also, begin to notice what shows up in your life over the next days or so – allow yourself to be surprised.

In Light and Appreciation.
Trilby Johnson


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

You Are As Awesome As You BELIEVE Yourself To BE!

You Are As Awesome As You BELIEVE Yourself To BE!

self-image, worthiness, i am enough, love, mirror, reflectionWhilst many people who know the power of beliefs will agree, there is a shortage of people who truly believe they are awesome and who feel really good about feeling this way about themselves. So what holds so many back, when it comes to firstly believing they are awesome and secondly living in an awesome way?

I find many people confuse knowing how awesome they are with being arrogant. Somewhere along the line, in their system of beliefs and values, these two qualities have become collapsed together on some subconscious level and perhaps more importantly, with a negative connotation.

And so they are afraid to show up as awesome because they will be judged by others. And of course, they are also, on some subconscious level judging themselves in a negative way. If this was not so, there would be no problem in showing up as awesome and there would also be little judgment around arrogance either for that matter.

Embracing your awesomeness comes from a system of valuing yourself and feeling confident about what you do and can share with others. On the other hand, arrogance tends to stem paradoxically from a feeling of low-esteem and in order to compensate, the person will often adopt a behaviour of exaggerated confidence albeit one that puts others down and does not listen to other people’s opinions or ideas.

Here’s a quiz.
Think of someone who you consider as awesome. What are the qualities of this person that attract you? Now think of someone who you consider as arrogant. What are the qualities of this person that attract you? When done, ask yourself, who would you prefer being around and why? Write the reasons down and how you feel when with these people.

People enjoy being in the company of people who embrace their awesomeness. The main reason is because these people feel good about themselves and exude charm and confidence. And people will want to spend time in the company of these people. Life is simple too short to spend it not enjoying your own awesomeness and then being with awesome people.

Judgment is a natural part of the mental assessment process. However, you still have the choice as to what choice you are going to make. To play small or to play awesome! What if the only thing that is stopping you from being awesome, or even more awesome, is judgment? What if you gave that up, right here and now? Imagine how organically awesome your life can be! Are you ready to dare to be your awesomeness?

Believe in yourself and allow that to grow. The world really needs your awesomeness right now!

In Light and Appreciation

Trilby


Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.

Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!

©Trilby Johnson. All Rights Reserved. Copyright Prohibited. Please share any part of this article with reference to this original blog.

Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.

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