Are you someone who suffers from low self-esteem? Then I have great news for you! No matter what you have believed up until this moment, it’s possible to change it. Through the right positive focus and resolving some limiting beliefs and core patterns, you can start right now, here today and feel better about yourself and build a positive self-esteem.
Self-Esteem is the regard in which you hold yourself. A lot is learned from parents, education, culture and intuition. Self-Esteem, in my experience, is very much a question about connection on a physical, mental, emotional and soul level. It’s first and foremost about the connection you have with and to yourself – how you think about and feel about yourself and the manner in which you talk to and about yourself. It’s all about you in fact!
For many years, I struggled with low self-esteem, so I know how horrible this feels. In fact, I used to hate myself and my life was miserable because of these feelings. I believed what others had told me about myself, even although it hurt terribly. What hurt so much, was that I knew deep down inside that all of that simply wasn’t true – and yet I let myself down. Until I found another and new way.
For me to get from that place of not liking or loving myself at all, to where I cultivated a level of high self-esteem, took a while plus a lot of honest introspection. So today, I want to share with you, 3 of the elements that I consciously chose to add to and cultivate in my life, that helped me to boost a high and healthy sense of self-esteem. Here’s what I learned.
1. Element of Self-Love
Having been someone who didn’t love myself very much, I can guarantee you that Loving Yourself is the most important thing you will even do. Not only for yourself – also for the other people in your life.
Then, it’s about how you relate to others in ways that either support or disempower your level of self-esteem. The reason is that, when you truly love yourself and allow yourself to be who you truly are – the good, the bad, the ugly and all the other bits – you are a Gift! You can be confident. You can let go of the doubt, guilt and shame – all of which were probably not yours to begin with.
It took me a long time – through bouts of depression, abusive relationships and situations, suicidal tendencies and many low and dark moments – until I realized that all I really wanted, was to love myself.
So please give your permission today, if you are not yet there, to LOVE YOURSELF. It is soooo important! And only you can take the first step and continuously move forward.
Self-esteem, is a by-product of loving yourself and not vice-versa! So make sure your are not missing out on this crucial self-esteem booster.
2. Element of Worth
I have worked with so many people, who believe that they are not enough. I used to be one of them. They believe that if they try harder or hard enough, if they give more, if they behave in a certain way, that finally they will be enough … and be worthy of other people’s praise, love, approval, or something else.
I have witnessed it and felt it myself – the huge sense of relief that comes with finally accepting and knowing that I am enough already. That I am worthy. And with this, the knowing comes that we all have worth and are worthy!!!
There is nothing to prove, despite that so many of us have been duped into believing it is something to be achieved or earned. The problems arise when we start to doubt or are led astray by other’s opinions and when we think that we have to DO something to Be Enough. We are enough . . . evident in the fact that Life itself has given us Life. We are enough!
So please, choose to know that you are worthy. This choice to know that you are worth yourself will add and boost your self-esteem beyond measure.
3. Element of Safety
This may surprise many people – I know it did me, when I realized that not feeling safe had a huge impact on my sense of self-esteem. Many of us are so afraid of the judgement of others. Perhaps even more so and subconsciously, we are afraid of our own judgement. I don’t know about you, but I have often been my harshest and most unforgiving critic!
I can remember the acute sense of relief I experienced when I finally let go of judging myself and wanting to control everything … aahhhhh … it was amazing! I began to feel safe.
When you don’t feel safe, worthy, nor love yourself, these mindsets create a gravitational pull to everything ‘out there’ that matches these lower vibes of self-esteem. Life will serve up the very things you often fear, as a sign post of your security vibe. Life will show you often paradoxically where you need to boost levels of love, worth and safety.
When you feel safe, you feel okay much of the time – even when you make mistakes. It feels safe even when you don’t always know exactly what to do, all of the time. It feels safe for you to be You – with or without other people’s approval.
Safety, is an inner state of being. Yes, you can live in a dangerous places – I’ve done that – and even in these situations, you can still feel safe. You can begin by claiming and affirming
I love myself,
I am enough
I am worthy,
I am always safe!
Even if at first you don’t quite believe or feel it completely. Claiming and declaring these will boost your self-esteem no end.
This does not mean there will not be days that are difficult nor that you will not have dips in your self-esteem. Simply no longer feed them and soon you will find yourself bouncing back. You will begin to enjoy the benefits of high self-esteem like feeling more confident, happier, healthier and successful in your daily endeavours.
YOU are your most priceless and valuable commodity! Believe in yourself and your self-esteem will follow. Actively boost yours daily with thoughts, words and actions of love, worth and safety that will nurture a healthy and loving connection and web of self-esteem. This is not to be confused with arrogance!
Hold yourself in esteem – this is your purpose.
Trilby Johnson is an Emotional Breakthrough Mentor, Author and Speaker whose clients hire her to go from emotional zero to emotional hero, as they heal, alleviate stress and cultivate emotional freedom in their lives, relationships, finances, emotions, health and mindset. She shares her knowledge of how to create inner harmony and outer balance with those seeking to deepen their self-knowing and expand their consciousness.
Contact Trilby for a Breakthrough Alchemy Assessment if you are ready for go from zero to hero now!
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Disclaimer: Any information shared here is not a substitute or replacement of any medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.